It was the night before Thanksgiving as I sat in my chair sipping a beer and not having a care The TV was on The news woman said They found a guy tied up in his house, he was dead A few beers later The room started to twirl My head was all fuzzy I was ready to hurl I opened my eyes And what did I see A turkey in lingerie Looking at me The turkey it seems Was dressed in her best Her long firm thighs And her perky young breasts Hey there big boy The shy turkey said If you undress I’ll take you to bed Now quick as a flash I jumped from my chair Throwing off my clothes Up into the air We got to the bedroom Quiet as a mime I lay there ready For a really good time The turkey came in Licking her lips As her bra came off She said this Now regular sex is nice As you’ve had before But if I can tie you up It will be sex to die for Using a rope my hands and feet she had tied I couldn’t move Even if I tried She left the room For some reason or another When she returned she had some butter This butter I’ll rub All over, every where Now be a good boy And put your butt In the air Now the butter was slippery Where ever she rubbed But she really pressed hard When she got to my butt I was getting nervous When she said Happy thanksgiving my Dear Fred This is payback For turkey days past You have stuffed turkeys And this will be your last My aunt, my uncle and my brother My cousin, my sister and my mother They were cooked and stuffed by your hand Now it’s your turn My little man She pulled out a dildo As big as my arm It became clear She meant me some harm She went to work on my rectum The pain made me shout The pain was so much That I passed out. They found me the next day Tied up and dead With a few turkey feathers Under my head Now let this tale be A warning and lesson to take Happy Thanksgiving And instead of turkey It’s pasta you should make