‘Twas the night before Christmas As I sat in my chair I was drinking some beers Without any care On the TV came a weather girl With pretty blonde hair Her voice in a panic, she started to shout A Bomb Cyclone was coming It was en-route I locked all my windows and locked all my doors I checked on my preper Emergency food stores Just then outside I heard such a clatter I ran to the window to see what Was the matter Outside my house From what I could see It looked like a homeless guy In the snow coming towards me He had a funny red suit With white trim all around He had a fat belly And made a Ho Ho Ho sound A homeless beggar What else could it be He wanted the food I had stored But it was only for me I sat quiet and waited For the next shoe to drop Then down my chimney This hobo did flop I said hold on there stranger And started to shout Vamoose you varmint You better get out He ignored my warnings And turned toward my tree His ass shook like jello It was something to see Now hobo or not My food had to last I whipped out my shot gun And gave him a blast. I called the cops on this Dead homeless guy He broke into my house That they could not deny As they hauled off his carcass I got over my fright Merry Christmas to all And to all a good night