Month: January 2021

The sun hit my face while lying in bed
But I felt like a band was marching on my head
Last night was New Year’s Eve and filled with drink
I looked around and didn’t know what to think

It was not my room, this was not my bed
How I got here had me scratching my head
I remember drinking a lot, like a real guzzler
But how I got here is a real puzzler

I turned to my left and what did I see
But some strange woman looking at me
Now I like women, all kinds and all sorts
But this ugly bitch had a face like a horse

I looked under the covers, my cloths were not there
And worse someone had shaved off all of my hair
I could only imagine what happened last night
I started to panic, my thoughts turned to fright

The woman leaned towards me and asked in a whisper
If we could make love again, after I kissed her
Now sex with women is my normal desire
But a kid with this beast I did not want to sire

I had to think fast, I had to think quick
To get out of here I needed a trick
Quick as a wink I told her, you know
Nature calls and to the bathroom I must go

When my feet hit the floor no time did I waste
I ran out the door in a great haste
Now true I was naked, with no hair to boot
But I didn’t care or give a hoot

When you go out drinking please take care
Or you may end up naked, without any hair
Limit your drinking on New Years Eve
Or in nine months a paternity suit you will receive