Night before Xmas poem 2020

On Christmas Eve I was watching TV.

When the governor came on and he said to me,

The COVID is spreading and it’s getting late

We all must stay home and self isolate.

I ran to the doors and set all the locks

I put on my robe, my slippers and socks. 

I settled down to a nice quiet time

I then pored myself a big glass of wine.

As I sat there from the wine I was getting looped,

But then I heard a loud thud on my roof.

I thought to myself, now what could that be?

Probably some robber coming after me.

I jumped from my chair, I was off in a flash.

I ran to the room where I keep my gun stash.

I loaded a 12 gauge as quick as I could

I figured no matter what happened that I’d be good.

I went back to the living room but what did I see

A fat guy, in a red suit coming down the chimney.

His eyes had a twinkle, his nose like a cherry

He had a white beard, and his face seemed merry.

He had a large gut, like a beer belly

And when he laughed it shook like jelly.

I said, now hold on there stranger, and this I must ask, 

haven’t you heard of COVID? And where is your mask?

The stranger said nothing and turned away from me.

He started to move towards the Christmas tree.

Now Christmas or not I did not know 

the COVID status of this jolly hobo.

I raised my shotgun and the led I let fly

I didn’t  want to get COVID, I didn’t want to die.

When the ambulance came to take his carcass away

The paramedics told me to have a good day.

I needed some liquor to calm down my fright,

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.